Lately I have been a little more cranky than usual. My upcoming wedding and the inevitable diet that comes with a monstrous white dress is fast approaching. I eat Think Thin bars everyday for breakfast while pining away for an Egg McMuffin. I eat broccoli and cauliflower and I fantasize about days past when I ate cupcakes and Thin Mints. (Yes. – Sometimes for breakfast. – Don’t judge!)Yes … I feel better and my jeans are loose and I didn’t even get a lecture at the Dr. this year when they noticed that I had lost for the first time ever … But sometimes I snap at people and wonder … if I had a cookie would I really be getting this upset right now? And when the invitation lady starts talking about colors and mentions chocolate or mocha colored ribbon I immediately think ooooooooooh chocolate … ribbon.
So remember Danielle from Danielle day?
I think I mentioned before that Danielle is awesome! This morning she presented me with the angry dieter’s fork. It has one tine that is flipping you off and attaches nicely to the fridge with a handy magnet! Danielle’s friend and her friend’s mom make the forks and frankly I think I will be investing in them for everyone I know.
Fork you to the Nordstrom half-yearly sale where the fat lady clothes are too big but the next level down is too small! Fork you to Old Navy where there are 2 pants in the EXACT same size and one is too big and one is too small! And a big Fork you to Victoria’s Secret where they only carry DD’s online! Because god forbid a chubby girl bring down the property value in that place!
Fork ... I'm hungry again. Please excuse my ranting and have a nice Monday!
