Oy!

Okay people.

If you know me you know that I am not the secret keeper of all secret keepers. In fact – it is rough on me to keep a bunch of secrets.

I would however, like to at least defend myself a little bit before I tell you why this is the topic of today. I h-a-t-e secrets! Even for myself. I am the kind of person that will tell anyone anything they want to know about me. And I will always give an honest opinion. I am a fan of being honest. I just feel like it’s the best way to go in almost every situation. Like yesterday – I was talking to Danielle at lunch about tight jeans. And I mentioned that I hate them because they make my vajayjay hurt. Of course Danielle didn’t flinch because she’s cool like that but someone with less coolness would be like “seriously do you have to share?” And my point is yes – I do have to share. I sort of believe that when you are open it really gives uncomfortable things less power over you. Secrets lose their power over you once you say them out loud. And hey – maybe someone is wondering why their vajayjay hurts and now they will stop wearing the jeans! (Oh and YOU will be spared from seeing yet another camel toe.) Most people do not share my same opinion. It seems my Dad would prefer that I not tell the tour bus lady in Washington DC our entire life story. (I was little – I thought she might be interested) And my mom – well scratch that – my mom comes to me for the info.

I know I cannot force my openness on everyone because everyone has their own way of doing things, and sometimes, I guess there is a reason for the secret. Like maybe it is good news and whatnot and that it has an “appropriate announcement” time. Or maybe it’s shocking news (to some) and everyone would go nuts if they found out. If you read the Da Vinci Code you know what I mean …

So basically - this is going to be a looooooooooooooooong rest of the week for me. Or longer than a week! Who knows when everyone can know what I know?

See – I have 3 secrets right now. 3 of them people! I am under serious restrictions. I sort of feel like maybe I should not talk to anyone right now. Please do not call me. I don’t want to talk to you. Or if you do talk to me it can only be about me and you. You cannot ask me how anyone else is doing. And as a disclaimer – no I would not prefer if I didn’t know the secrets. I hate being the last to know almost as much as I don’t like secret keepers. ;)

This would also be an appropriate time to mention why I love Dave. He’s the guy on the right without the ears. He is the secret keeper of all secret keepers and thank god because I can usually at least tell him and he will lock it like a vault.

And then he tells people that I have the biggest mouth this side of the Mississippi. No seriously – he said that to me in front of my family at Christmas and they all laughed. Because they (and I) know it’s true.

You guys will all still be my friends after this right? No seriously – Right?