Smelly Cat

In the last few weeks I have had some new neighbors move in to my cube neighborhood at work. For those of you that know me well you know - that I am - how would you say … not so patient with idiocy.

So when I got two new neighbors I thought I would stray from my usual crankiness and give them the benefit of the doubt.

My mistake.

On Friday I was greeted with a gum chomper. The chomping is so loud it is as though I am sitting next to a cow. You want to know the kicker? The gum chomper wears earplugs so as not to be disturbed while he is working!

Then yesterday one of the IT guys walked by and said “Ewwww it smells like urine in your department.” I was like “WHAT?”

So I went to lunch and breathed fresh air and came back and you know what?

It doesn’t just smell like urine it smells like dirty clothes and dirty hair! It smells in my neighborhood as though I live under the freeway and my neighbors are hobos and bums. When I came in this morning it was even worse. Great.

I shower every morning and add a delightful coating of coconut lime verbena lotion to be greeted with the gross and grosser stinky gum chomping neighbors. And now I am grouped in with the department that smells like we live in a van down by the river.

Perfect. Just fucking perfect.