Happy Memorial Day Everybody!

This weekend was pretty great!

Dave and I went to the Wild Animal Park in San Diego and we fed Rhinos and Giraffes and Bears Oh My! Okay we didn’t pet bears but we did get to feed Rhinos and Giraffes. And I will put up the pictures in my next post but today … is an ode to my dad.

My dad loves America! And not just on the 4th of July either. He puts up the flag almost every day he is home and he even had a special huge flagpole put in when he built our house. My dad lives for hanging out with the family, baseball, hot dogs, fireworks, and parades. I can remember when I was little going to the 4th of July parade in Benicia every year. Dad also loves Disneyland and the state fair too! Every year we went to the state fair and we walked and we sweated and we ate corn dogs until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. And then my dad delivered us safely to our beds at home.

My point is … that I have learned a lot from my dad. Like how important it is to pay your taxes and to do the right thing. Even if it ends up biting you in the ass, at least you will know that you did what you could. My dad means business and he doesn’t put up with any nonsense. But he also shows up with ice cream cones for skinned knees and buys everybody a sweatshirt when it gets cold at Disneyland so that you can stay until the last turn on the Matterhorn.

That’s why I thought of Dad this morning when I put out our flag for Memorial Day. Dave reminded me that we had gotten the flagpole holder so he put it up for me. (Pictured Above) My dad brought this flag down on one of my parents many trips to hang out and also bring me stuff. ;) It’s really awesome and is totally a dad flag because it even has an eagle on top! Thanks Dad for being so patriotic and always reminding me of what my part in this world is. I hope that we are half the parents that you two have been to Regina and I. You guys are the best! And I promise to make an ode to Mom post soon. ;)

Dum it down.

This weekend Dave brought home an excellent movie!

Idiocracy is a Mike Judge (From Office Space) film and it is a fantastic statement on current society and where it is all headed if we keep this nonsense up.

The above picture shows the president 500 years from now. Everything is run by corporations like Karls Jr. and this Gatorade stuff IS the drinking water. Also – everyone is super dumb and is rewarded for being dumb and having numerous kids. And there is a Costco that takes more than an hour to get through. And the number one show on TV is “Ow my balls” where a guy gets repeatedly hit in the nuts. You get the idea.

It was startling that it all seemed so … possible. But then I thought to myself Noooooooo people want to be smart! People want to be good people! And I tried to forget the stupidity (totally real and hilarious though it may be) until this morning when I was driving to work. Is it really necessary for your Dodge Magnum to have a license plate frame that says “My other car is a Fucking West Coast Chopper”? Or how about the filthy 1988 Ford Escort that says “Don’t assume I cook” What? Or apparently clean either ….

And then the Piece de la resistance - the giant lifted truck with like 500 inch wheels that has two golf balls hanging in a nylon sock from the trailer hitch to let me (the person driving behind you) know that you have an enormous set of testicles. (Nevermind the fact that if you need to tell us how big your nuts are we pretty much know that really they are tiny and adorable – or maybe you’re missing one) Is that really necessary? And is it necessary for you - the lady on the 405 to let us all know with your bumper sticker that you can go from 0 to bitch in 4.5 seconds? Because that is just the kind of statement that someone wants to explain the meaning of to their kindergartner that is just learning to read. Wait – do they even teach reading in kindergarten anymore or is that like a 6th grade thing?

Krazy Cat Lady

Have you met Piggles? She pretty much runs our house. That look on her face where she kinda looks like she hates us is the same look she has every day and she kinda hates us. This is her taking a bath. I say this because this morning I brought brownies into the potluck and there was a long orange whisker in them. I just wanted you to know that it was probably clean.
This is Fluff-head. She is crazy fat and fluffy and sorta dumb. We love her! And she loves us. And every time we give her an ear scratch Piglet comes over and yells at her and bonks her on the head. But thirty seconds later she forgets what happened so it's okay. It might have been a Fluffy hair in there too.

My point is - my brownies are really good but eat them at your own risk. I have apparently reached Krazy Cat lady status and am making potluck brownies with whiskers in them. Although I've gotten sick at enough potlucks in the office to know that there is no way one whisker is gonna kill you.

Also - don't playa hate on our stoopid cat names. Happy Friday!

Oy!

Okay people.

If you know me you know that I am not the secret keeper of all secret keepers. In fact – it is rough on me to keep a bunch of secrets.

I would however, like to at least defend myself a little bit before I tell you why this is the topic of today. I h-a-t-e secrets! Even for myself. I am the kind of person that will tell anyone anything they want to know about me. And I will always give an honest opinion. I am a fan of being honest. I just feel like it’s the best way to go in almost every situation. Like yesterday – I was talking to Danielle at lunch about tight jeans. And I mentioned that I hate them because they make my vajayjay hurt. Of course Danielle didn’t flinch because she’s cool like that but someone with less coolness would be like “seriously do you have to share?” And my point is yes – I do have to share. I sort of believe that when you are open it really gives uncomfortable things less power over you. Secrets lose their power over you once you say them out loud. And hey – maybe someone is wondering why their vajayjay hurts and now they will stop wearing the jeans! (Oh and YOU will be spared from seeing yet another camel toe.) Most people do not share my same opinion. It seems my Dad would prefer that I not tell the tour bus lady in Washington DC our entire life story. (I was little – I thought she might be interested) And my mom – well scratch that – my mom comes to me for the info.

I know I cannot force my openness on everyone because everyone has their own way of doing things, and sometimes, I guess there is a reason for the secret. Like maybe it is good news and whatnot and that it has an “appropriate announcement” time. Or maybe it’s shocking news (to some) and everyone would go nuts if they found out. If you read the Da Vinci Code you know what I mean …

So basically - this is going to be a looooooooooooooooong rest of the week for me. Or longer than a week! Who knows when everyone can know what I know?

See – I have 3 secrets right now. 3 of them people! I am under serious restrictions. I sort of feel like maybe I should not talk to anyone right now. Please do not call me. I don’t want to talk to you. Or if you do talk to me it can only be about me and you. You cannot ask me how anyone else is doing. And as a disclaimer – no I would not prefer if I didn’t know the secrets. I hate being the last to know almost as much as I don’t like secret keepers. ;)

This would also be an appropriate time to mention why I love Dave. He’s the guy on the right without the ears. He is the secret keeper of all secret keepers and thank god because I can usually at least tell him and he will lock it like a vault.

And then he tells people that I have the biggest mouth this side of the Mississippi. No seriously – he said that to me in front of my family at Christmas and they all laughed. Because they (and I) know it’s true.

You guys will all still be my friends after this right? No seriously – Right?

Some Friday Cuteness ...

This is a picture of the awesome kid of one of my favorite-est friends Kathryn. His name is Josh, and while I was uploading pics today I came across this one and I love it! Especially since he looks so adorable … but you should know … he is hilarious also!

I love him so much because:

He honestly believes that he “makes” the quarters that Dave pulls out of his ears.

He once called me a cow when we were at the mall. Kathryn almost died but it was pretty darn funny. And then I had to do that thing where I had to look away when she scolded him because I was laughing so hard.

He shows off his Superman PJ’s almost every time I come over. And yes - there is a cape!

And he (well the whole family actually) calls me Coco Puff. And it seems like a totally normal thing to be called when I am with them.

I know that one day Josh will grow up and pretend to hate us all for the stories we have of him -but that is sort of our job anyway isn’t it? And it is sort of payback for him getting us both busted for sword fighting with chopsticks the last time we went out to dinner. (I may or may not have started that particular activity.)

Anyway – I love Josh and his parents and his new little sister and they are the bestest!

Oh and one more thing – Josh also holds the esteemed position of ring-bearer in our upcoming nuptials! You can count on him to be equally charming and mildly troublemaking and that is just the way I like it!

Cuff me!

Living in LA I have the opportunity to have some good celebrity sightings. I have taken a picture with Ice Cube, personally witnessed Paris and Nicky Hilton stumble across a street, and I even met Kobe Bryant at 3rd street when my Auntie Karen and cousin Megan were in town!

However, I have to say that the best sightings are always the ones of people that you least expect.

Up until now that position was filled by Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) when we saw him at breakfast one day at Lulu’s. I wasn’t completely sure it was him until he ordered his oatmeal with that super sexy should I date Brenda or Kelly raspy voice. (And might I add - that he is just as sexy ordering oatmeal as he is brooding over his past life with Kelly when he was Billy the Kid. No seriously – that happened. Did I mention the 90210 season 2 DVD is out now?)

But yesterday – yesterday! Yesterday I was at the salon and John (Larry Wilcox) from CHiP’s was getting a haircut! Ummmm I spent many hours watching CHiP’s with my little sister and I still get really excited when I see two of them riding together on the highway. Even though I have a teensy speeding record. :) Anyhoo – he was super nice and I wasn’t going to say anything but my friend Julie sold me out and told him I loved him. He said “I know - she made eye contact with me.” And then I giggled and blushed. It was so great!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0928243/